The Three Secrets to Happiness

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Happy CatWe all know that money can’t buy happiness … but many times we act as if we’d be happier with a bit more money. We are conditioned to want to be rich (when we know the rich aren’t happy either); we are trained to want the latest gadget or style that television tells us to want; we want to earn more money because then we’ll have the good life.

But none of that will bring us happiness. No matter how much we earn, no matter how much we have in the bank, no matter how nice our clothing or cars or toys, none of it will make us happier. And the sad thing is that it could take us decades of pursuing wealth and luxury items before we realize this.

So what will bring us happiness? Luckily, it’s three things that don’t cost a thing. These three things have been proven by research — surveys of hundreds of thousands of people about what they have, what their lives are like, and how happy they are.

Here they are, the Three Secrets to Happiness:

  1. Good relationships. We have a human need to be close, to be intimate, with other human beings. Having good, supportive friendships, a strong marriage or close and loving relationships with our family members will make us much more likely to be happy. Action steps: Take time, today, to spend time with your loved ones, to tell them what they mean to you, to listen to them, and develop your relationship with them.
  2. Positive thinking. I’m obviously a big proponent of positive thinking as the best way to achieve your goals, but it turns out that it can lead to happiness too. Optimism and self-esteem are some of the best indicators of people who lead happy lives. Happy people feel empowered, in control of their lives, and have a positive outlook on life. Action steps: Make positive thinking a habit. In fact, this should be one of the first habits you develop. Get into the habit of squashing all negative thoughts and replacing them with positive ones. Instead of “I can’t” think “I can”. It may sound corny, but it has worked for me, every time.
  3. Flow. This is a popular concept on the Internet these days — the state we enter when we are completely focused on the work or task before us. We are so immersed in our task that we lose track of time. Having work and leisure that gets you in this state of flow will almost undoubtedly lead to happiness. People find greatest enjoyment not when they’re passively mindless, but when they’re absorbed in a mindful challenge. Action steps: Find work that you’re passionate about. Seriously — this is an extremely important step. Find hobbies that you’re passionate about. Turn off the TV — this is the opposite of flow — and get outside and do something that truly engages you.

You’ve been given the Three Secrets to Happiness. Don’t waste them!

Comments
  • shailesh:

    This is a very powerful thing, which every one must adopt.

    This will change ones mind set and thinking. Very good & important information about life!

  • shob:

    good for our modern day mind as we are always busy with materialistic thinking for a change this is good.

  • Aarif:

    Money Does Buy Happiness in a Way… The three things that you mentioned above .. all need money… If I want to spend quality time with my family… I need money… suppose sumone in my family is not well.. and need to be urgently operated upon… and I go with what you say.. that money is not that important… Lets say I have less money than needed for that operation… WILL I B ABLE TO SPEND THE QUALITY TIME WITH MY LOVED ONES THAT YOU TALK OF ???? 2. Positive Thinking : In this state , with no money and I see my loved one dying in front of me… WHAT POSITIVE THINKING DO YOU WANT ME TO THINK OF ??? IS IT REALLY POSSIBLE WHAT U SAY???— Think what you say !!!… U are saying this either becoz U have NO PROBLEMS or have LOTS OF MONEY and DONT need more … or have NEVER FELT THE NEED TO WORK FOR it…. try to go hungry for a few days… or feel the pain of seeing sumone you care of helpless becoz U dont have enough money to care for the and then you’ll probably write that 1st MONEY IS MOST IMPORTANT … then all the above follow …. God forbid U never have to face the above to really experience it…. Love .

    • Rohit:

      @ Aarif,

      In my whole life I have never seen depressing person like you.
      I think you misunderstood the thought (In fact I feel you didn’t understand anything out of it). Yes one thing missing was, for people like you positive attitude should come first. If you have billions of rupees and don’t have your beloved one, friends, family with you with whom you are going to enjoy it? To whom will help with your (if you ever will have) positive attitude. Who told you don’t earn money, Earn what you can spend for you, your family and beloved once but not for greed.

      • @ Rohit:

        Rohit jee, i love your comment against Aarif’s comment, with money you can do sex but you can’t buy a good friend, also with money you can buy a house but not a home.

      • ramandeep:

        well said I am agree with u Rohit .people don’t understand we need money 2 live not live 4 money and happiness never comes with money , altough it helps a bit but eventually u need ur nearers and dearers ….that makes u happy and b optimistic .

    • K Bharani Nath:

      I think you did not understand what Positive Thinking is all about. Positive Thinking will not make your problems vanish, but it helps YOU grow bigger than your problems. Still confusing? Let me explain.

      Remember the time when you were in Kindergarten. What was your toughest examination? Writing A,B,C,Ds, right? When you were a kid, ABCs were very tough? Now think about the same examination today, is it tough now? No, it is just piece of cake for you, right?

      Now tell me, has the problem (test of ABCs) changed? It has not, but what makes you feel easy about it is that YOU have grown bigger than the problem, so it is piece of cake.

      This is what positive thinking does. It does not change the problem, but it does change YOUR perspective of the problem. I hope I am clear now.

    • Anil:

      Dear Aarif,
      This is in regard to 2nd part of your comment on positive thinking that if you do not have money and in that case how you can be still thinking positively.Thinking positively also means it was your destiny and the Almighty Allah wants you to be thankful to HIM for still having been kind enough to you for making you available to help your family. Think of those who neither have money nor any one to look after them. What you are talking of is material happiness and what the article meant was spritual happyness

  • Aarif:

    In fact… Money if had and GIVEN AWAY… can make such a Change in this world…. God has suppossed BLESSED you with either Money or the ability to earn lots of it…. Dont U think that that money can feed a poor child ? get Medicines for the needy ? Give a Blanket for that Old person sleeping in the cold ? Pay for a Childs education ????…. Yes… It can and Will .. IF GIVEN AWAY …. Money DOES GIVE HAPPINESS… when it is GIVEN AWAY…. try it and see how HAPPY U Feel….

  • nand:

    this is very good information for success in life,,,,,,it’s really fantastic ,or it;s secrets of life ,,,,,,,,for
    achieaving ny goal..

  • admin:

    @ Aarif

    I never said that money is not important at all. I was just commenting on the materialistic view that some people have of thinking that “they will be happy if they buy this or that toy/gadget/car/bank balance etc”. While that may bring temporary joy, it does not alone bring long lasting and fulfilling happiness.

    Obviously money is required, and the people who are reading this article on the Internet (and who this article is targeted for), are not in poverty. Once basic needs are taken care of then the pointers I mentioned above make a big difference in ones lives!

  • samia:

    well it is v. gooooooooooooood make u thnk again about what ur doing whate is ur life well do 4 u

  • GOOGD GOOD GOOD BUT MUST APPLY TO OUR LIFE MAY BE OUR LIFE CHANGE.YES SURE TRY !!!!

  • NILESH:

    GOOD ONE MUST APPLY IN OUR DAY TO DAY LIFE

  • saira:

    an eye opener. such truths are badly needed to be reminded from time to time.

  • Pranesh Krishnan:

    very usefull tips for life

  • Must applicable to every one and every body should fallow, Really very Goooooooooooooooooooooooooood!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Kalpana:

    Its really too good.. n also an inportant prospect in life

  • Sarika:

    Money makes you comfortable… often people equate rich with money which is a false sense of security… often people don’t know that having a healthy peace of mind is richness… Im not saying that money isn’t necessary, because without it necessities cannot be bought…

    It is the fact that people spend their lives hunting for more and more money that they forget to live life and enjoy the things along the way… and I think that this article depicts this in some way…

    I understand the viewpoint of Aarif but I guess tact would have been good in his statements to be less offensive / arrogant.

    But never the less, ppl are entitled to their opinions.

    We must remember that WE are in charge of OUR happiness.. no one else!

  • santosh:

    Money can buy comfort but not happiness.

    • Domingo Mascarenhas:

      Hi santosh, you have said it well and simple just in few words. your name itself can explain it well, thanks

  • just a few webpages cannot bring in happiness or peace in life. life is a chance…billions and billions of sperms fighting with one another to hit an egg, which by mere chance is active and alive, and the live birth is more by chance and growing up is another wonderful chance and finally keeping oneself in so called happiness without really having an idea of what happiness is…. let us trust is God, and if there is no God let us emulate Nietzhe to creat a God for ourselves. A small bee in the bonnet can tumble the applecart, no our imaginary universe itself

  • Ahmed Hamdi:

    Life is too short and every one need to attract the best thing in it, to be happy and enjoy your life you need to take it easy without complixity of life.
    If you can forgive and ignore the annoying things you will realy enjoy life
    If you can make others happy that will give great satisfaction
    Money is not every thing and cannot make you happy, but good health and good family with real friends around you, That will make big change in life and happinies will come to you.

  • sarathy:

    first we need to know absence of sorrow is not happiness.secondly there need/should not be any guilt in any form towards entire act including words we have speltout.

  • anita butani:

    Hi Priya,

    I love all of your emails! Sweet of you to post every now and then.
    Thanks a ton.

    This one is incomparable! Real essence of life, I feel.

    God Bless.

  • snels:

    Money Does Buy Happiness in a Way… The three things that you mentioned above .. all need money… If I want to spend quality time with my family… I need money… suppose sumone in my family is not well.. and need to be urgently operated upon… and I go with what you say.. that money is not that important… Lets say I have less money than needed for that operation… WILL I B ABLE TO SPEND THE QUALITY TIME WITH MY LOVED ONES THAT YOU TALK OF ???? 2. Positive Thinking : In this state , with no money and I see my loved one dying in front of me… WHAT POSITIVE THINKING DO YOU WANT ME TO THINK OF ??? IS IT REALLY POSSIBLE WHAT U SAY???— Think what you say !!!… U are saying this either becoz U have NO PROBLEMS or have LOTS OF MONEY and DONT need more … or have NEVER FELT THE NEED TO WORK FOR it…. try to go hungry for a few days… or feel the pain of seeing sumone you care of helpless becoz U dont have enough money to care for the and then you’ll probably write that 1st MONEY IS MOST IMPORTANT … then all the above follow …. God forbid U never have to face the above to really experience it…. Love .

    • PRASHANT GANAPA:

      snels,,,,,,,,,,,,,
      you are perfectly right.
      i agree with you,
      without mony we cant do nothing.

      PRASHANT (prashantganapa@in.com)

  • P K Misra:

    The basic needs have to be met before any theories of ‘how to become happy’ become relevant. There has to be balance between needs and wealth. There is old adage that you don’t become rich by amassing more and more wealth, rather you become rich by controlling your needs.

    One can not dispute that creation of wealth is required for progress. But creation of wealth by making oneself unhappy or others unhappy has to be shunned.

  • Anjali:

    Its really too good.. n also an important prospect in life

  • RITEN:

    Arif has a point,Truth is stranger than philosophy//
    but can u always keep running after money,How much is enough
    When do you slow down.We are really missing out on life in our
    scramble for more and more.
    Be on the pursuit but don’t be blind to your surroundings,
    your loved ones.Don’t drift away from goodness and kindness,
    not even these pseudo God men should derail you asa human being.
    You will be amazed how money will keep flowing in too.

  • Khushi:

    I Am HappineSS. Thanks for this article.

  • ARVIND:

    “SELF-TRUST IS THE ASSENCE OF HEROISM.”

    Living and dreaming are two different things-
    but you can’t do one without the other.

    “I do not believe in a fate that falls on men however they act;
    but i do believe in a fate that falls on them unless they act.

    • onkar:

      money is most important ‘FILLER’of your life.but essence of life is how you live.running after money day/night even after you have enough money is fatal.if you are not spending your quality time with your near,dears and loved ones because of this money race a day wud come that money wud be there with you but not the loved and beloved.this is law of nature.

  • Abdul:

    This is a very powerful thing, which every one must adopt.

    This will change ones mind set and thinking. Very good & important information about life!

  • Well, money may be a necessity for life, but it alone cannot bring happiness.We have to work hard to earn money.We should also try to help others.Only then we can also be happy.Mother Theresa is an example.I don’t say that everyone should become Mother Theresa.If only every one tries to help another within his/her capacity,then this world will become a paradise to live in.

  • yes money is not everything – but it can still bring happiness if we have spendings like BILL GATES; BIRLSAS; TATAS; Who make charity for the Human cause irrespective of any Nationality but for HUMAN BEING;

  • Khadim Baloch:

    Money Does Buy Happiness in a Way… The three things that you mentioned above .. all need money… If I want to spend quality time with my family… I need money… suppose sumone in my family is not well.. and need to be urgently operated upon… and I go with what you say.. that money is not that important… Lets say I have less money than needed for that operation… WILL I B ABLE TO SPEND THE QUALITY TIME WITH MY LOVED ONES THAT YOU TALK OF ???? 2. Positive Thinking : In this state , with no money and I see my loved one dying in front of me… WHAT POSITIVE THINKING DO YOU WANT ME TO THINK OF ??? IS IT REALLY POSSIBLE WHAT U SAY???— Think what you say !!!… U are saying this either becoz U have NO PROBLEMS or have LOTS OF MONEY and DONT need more … or have NEVER FELT THE NEED TO WORK FOR it…. try to go hungry for a few days… or feel the pain of seeing sumone you care of helpless becoz U dont have enough money to care for the and then you’ll probably write that 1st MONEY IS MOST IMPORTANT … then all the above follow …. God forbid U never have to face the above to really experience it…. Love .

  • anis aga:

    the three basic concepts of being happy in the todays world is wealth wealth wealth whether it is earned in a bad way.

    all the above comments are excellent
    can do anything can fulfill your requirememnt in hook or crook

  • FragLimit:

    “The heart beats best when it beats for others”.

    God has made us dependable on other’s for our “Happiness”. Therefore we always desire other’s company. Those who do not, end up quite screwed up in their minds (paronoia & schizophrenia, etc etc)

    More important then anything is that you set right your relationship with God. If you rest safe in the knowledge that God cares for you, you will be in a state of constant joy. “Happiness” comes from things that “Happen” around you. Joy comes from God and is irrespective if what happens around us.

    Bible says, “Cast all your care upon Him (God) for He cares for you”. When you have the assurance that immaterial of anything that comes on your way God has got your back, you’ll be at peace and will be joyful!

  • nagesh:

    I am of the opinion that mutual respect and understanding between the loving partners is crucial besides the three points stated by you without which nothing will work out.It should be both ways and not one sided for any success.

  • Dhanaraj:

    A very good one. In the present circumstances, we keep running after money and lose human touch / relationship. Sure money can
    buy everything, but not happiness and the love of your beloved one’s. Thanks Priya.

  • Rohit:

    very… usefull in over life. excellent tips…

  • t.g.singh:

    The three things mentioned are ofcoure very essential for maitaining physical ,social and mental welbeing. At the same time pay attention to maintain good health. Be away from smoking drinking, pre and post marital relationships outside marriage. Do not stoop over to peer pressure. Try to say NO and you are great. Health and education – one should crave for. Other things, one will get automatically

  • Love it, very much positive indeed, the last step flow is like knowing ur self……..good luck writer

  • happy:

    Really its work………all should be oriented with it

  • shashank:

    Yoga yoga yoga…. at least it gave me a lot of peace of mind n a very VERY positive attitude 🙂

  • Hekmat molavi:

    Hi, money doen,t give us happiness for ever, but without money everybody will be sad.

  • Venu:

    Hai des….

    I always be happy coz……………..!!!!!!!!

    “Be d first person 2 say sorrywhen d other person is angry with you and
    be the first person to forgive if the person says sorry to you”

    Pls try this ok…

  • omi:

    very very practical bt sometimes depends on situation which may not b supportive to hold this thought!!!!!!!!!!!then?

  • Kamlesh:

    It is very simple if you want to cry why sit on road sit in mercedece and cry

  • BARI:

    HI PRIYA

    ALL AER TIPS IS VERY USEFULL I BELIEVE THIS SECRETS TO HAPPINESS
    THANKS

  • Subro:

    How True ! Imple things in life are always free !!

  • Subro:

    I mean simple

  • moon:

    Its a truely enlightening article, it makes you think , i hope i am not sounding over confident when i want to say that you are absolutely empty when you are not happy with yourself no matter whether you have the basic comforts or you are on the pavement if you are not happy within you are useless. i have gone thru the ups and downs and toady when i sit in a plush restaurant alone with a coffee do you think i feel happy?

    a bonding, a shoulder to share, a hand to hold makes a lot of difference

  • Joskha:

    We are not living in an ideal world…in my opinion money in this day and age is actually the secret to our happiness and well being.

  • sydney:

    thank you for your great advise this helps to cure unstopable disease in man continual with this trend.

  • Really am very happy to read this…:)

  • Asha - Mauritius:

    Whatever you have explain is very true … and i think most of us realise that money is not real happiness its only a must to pacify our needs in life .. not buying luxuries will make us happy …its the peace of mind is the biggest happiness and treasure for a human being… having a peaceful sleep is the biggest happiness not getting frustrating how will i sleep if a thief comes to my house and steal my money….

  • aileen:

    Hello fellow friends,

    Yes,It is true that money can’t buy happiness,but isn’t it nice to cried out inside a Ferrari car than in a public utility vehicle? Hmmm…many people set there mentally thinking that when we say about happiness its all about money, Isn’t it? They are very wrong. Happiness means it is a feelings. A feeling for both poor or rich, child or adult, ugly or beautiful or etc.
    …to be continued…

  • rakhi:

    Amazing post…if we follow this three steps in our life….definately our lives become much more happier…thanxx 🙂

  • Nazia:

    Very nice article__Thank You

  • Writer:

    Simple yet precise!

  • Sharad Kulkarni:

    I went through all debates popsted. It was mind blowing,,, So many people,,, so many peceptions!!!!!
    Positive thoughts .. positive perceptions.. are a must in everyone’s life to live stress-freely.. one more aspect.. sometimes only positive thinking is not sufficient.. ” Optimal thinking” is also needed…….
    just give a thought…
    In a bad situation.. what best can be done???
    That’s “optimal thinking”..

  • vinay:

    To,

    All my dear ones ” Money hai to honey hai”.

  • kaushik mehta:

    It is very true. These are three basic things to understand shall bring hapiness in life.

  • Hamid Hussain:

    A superb piece one must try to follow it. I think money can’t buy us happiness except giving some facilities. But inner happines could not be bought with money. It is Indeed our positiv thoughts that give us strenght to be happy. People around us who make our lives beautiful by their care and presence.

  • acpmani:

    Yes,This is the truth.If everyone follow these steps obviously they are realist the meaning of happiness.Very good article.

  • V.P.Bakshi:

    My experience dictates:
    1. Money in Indian conditions is the first requirement of living.Excess of money is a nuisance but every young man and woman should first make him/her financially secure.
    2. Take friends selectively. In most of them there is a hidden spy.
    3.Deep emotional bonding in the family is a must for none from outside would turn up at the time of distress.

  • Aleem:

    very nice article definately money is not a real happiness we should keep touch with love ones

  • ravi.t:

    Hi Priya how much u know about life,Realy supereb me,i like ur articals,thanks but my self not that much knowledge

  • chandan:

    The Three Secrets to Happiness mentioned above are an eye opener. We know, money is every thing today and is required to maintain one’s life style but, do agree, it cannot buy happiness at all. Money and happiness both are different altogether.

  • gope mohnani:

    In listening or preaching this type of ideology is excellent which nourish, only mental hunger & thirst of ideal persons .From birth to death each breath is counted [soled or purchased ] in the form money or in obliging each other & calculating the position,situation & opurtunity 0f loss & profit . In fact this is also the need of time to survive comfortably .

  • BalaMurugan:

    Really its very useful tips for life thanks…..

  • gope mohnani:

    One thing more happiness never come without comfort ,and comfort never come by money & money never come by efforts n plans &ambitions. SO who would like to be happy in this world .he has to follow the principle WORK IS WORSHIP .

  • Well ,the three suggested steps to happiness are alright .But money initself IS not bad. The problem lies with howmuch.In the beginning we earn to live but after a time we start living to earn it.GOOD RELATIONSHIP gives us a higher level satisfaction.POSITIVE ATTITUDE is more an understanding of realities and be courageous to deal with them.FLOW is the highest state of satisfaction ,that is, BLISS.

  • sandip:

    really right way to live life…….

    i want to add one thing in this that one should have some goal in his/her life to live ……..

    thanks for the article

  • soe lay:

    I am thinking….money is not import….your mind is attitude very import…

  • sweetyy:

    Faith in God, positive thinking n patience will lead one to happiness.. 🙂

  • linith:

    good one!!

  • rajabhushanarao:

    it is intresting to note but in practical life money can bring many things which we need but it cannot purchase true love and affection which are rare acommodities not vailable for sale.The article is good but it has some limitations difficult to understand only people who suffer will be able to understand the difficulties faced in their life.

  • prasant1417:

    well…but all the people make the same mistake by thinking that we will be happy only after fulling their needs and earning money.. everyday they will be running on it and lose all their life..bt happiness wont come..we should be able to make the present time happily…..

  • very good pictures and i really enjoy on that

  • sonavin:

    If you constantly think of illness, you eventually become ill; if you believe yourself to be beautiful, you become so. You have to believe in happiness, or happiness never comes.

  • Sourav:

    Happiness is a sort of relative thing…. I like your thoughts….But your thoughts will not cherished the dream of a diplomat. Our demands are entirely based on our present scenario thus it is hard to conceived by an lagged person as his life is a desolate one. Actually we are happy to forget these mandatory facts & twists come into play from there.Finally it takes almost entire life to get back to those and meanwhile our demands craves for infinite so we become at lost. It is similar tussle like knowledge and degrees. My friend your thoughts really have some refinements to think about.Hope my words are not mind boggling to you. Thank you.

  • Puneeth:

    Effort is very important in life……

  • mSm:

    THANKS !
    KEEP IT UP !

  • Dr p kuppuswamy:

    We start earning with a Target – and you are able to achieve it whether with your efforts or with abundant luck – but the pity is we revise the target to overtake some one who does not care about you or for the welfare of your wards. In this process we fail to enjoy what we have got and the life goes waste

  • Adubs:

    The secret to happiness is forgiveness. When you understand that you are of two minds, you can learn to stop listening to ego and forgive everything you perceive as ‘wrong.’ Ego is the source of unhappiness. Ego is your self-image and that brings with it doubt, judgment, anger, and fear. Ego is a side effect of being alive, separated from what you really are, part of a larger whole, the mind of God.

    Instead listen to your soul. The soul/heart/spirit is your true self. It’s the source of joy, laughter and love. It comes from inside you. There really is no world “out there.” You live in your mind. And the world we perceive is the mind of God thinking through this question “what if there was a place where i am not whole?” Our enemies are not people.

    Our only enemy is the nothingness, the feeling of separation. It is this battle we are here to fight. Whoever said ‘fight fire with fire’ is an idiot. You fight fire with water, it’s opposite. We fight hate with love, judgment with compassion, separation with connection.

    When we, the fragments of God, fulfill our duty here in this universe, we fill this existence up with awareness, knowledge, and love. We will be whole again, we will be one, we will be God. We can get there sooner if we sooner change how we see and react to this world. Fight the negativity and corruption with positivity and creativity. That is the secret to happiness and enlightenment.

    Every night before you go to bed and every morning when you wake up, recite this mantra. You must train your unconscious mind to understand that this is exactly who you are.

    I love myself
    I forgive myself
    my mistakes are my lessons
    my failures are my teachers
    I don’t attack
    I don’t get defensive
    I don’t judge
    I don’t condemn
    I let go of ego
    I let go of the past
    I let go of expectations
    I let go of control
    I listen with my heart
    I react with my heart
    I see beauty in everyone
    I see spirit in everything
    I live in the now
    I laugh and I smile
    I count my blessings
    I forgive all I see wrong
    I give love to the world
    This is why I am happy

    BTW, whomever believes that money brings happiness should know that the monetary system is why the world is falling apart. Money corrupts. It promotes inequality. It stunts spiritual growth. Watch the Zeitgeist films.

  • sabeeh:

    very beautfull thoughts

  • Malaika:

    Good thoughts Adubs. Monetary system is part of our living.

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